H-hum
A-aap ko
P-pal
P-pal
Y-yaad karte hai
Showing posts with label Decnet SMS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Decnet SMS. Show all posts
Do u Know what is the Meaning of HAPPY..?
Do u Know what is the Meaning of HAPPY..?
H-hum
A-aap ko
P-pal
P-pal
Y-yaad karte hai
H-hum
A-aap ko
P-pal
P-pal
Y-yaad karte hai
Time n distance
Time n distance can keep us apart,but we r always heart to heart,no matter its night or day,u r just a thought away
To a business husband traveling
To a business husband traveling to India and back,Wife started reminding him how to benefit from such trips, buy and bring things for cheap from foreign.
She said, "When you are in India buy a few Sarees for me,On your way back when you stop at Dubai,Buy lots of jewelleries for me.And when you stop at Paris buy some perfumes for me."
The annoyed husband asked, "Yes, and when I stop at Hell what do I buy for you?"
The smiling wife said, "Just bring your Videos for our watching together!"
She said, "When you are in India buy a few Sarees for me,On your way back when you stop at Dubai,Buy lots of jewelleries for me.And when you stop at Paris buy some perfumes for me."
The annoyed husband asked, "Yes, and when I stop at Hell what do I buy for you?"
The smiling wife said, "Just bring your Videos for our watching together!"
English Translation!
Haven’t you always wondered how “Americanisms” would sound like if they were translated literally to an average Indian on, say, the streets of New Delhi (or elsewhere).
1. Have a nice day! - Achaa din lo!
2. What’s up? - Uppar kya hai?
3. You’re kidding! - Tum bachaa bana rahe ho!
4. Don’t kid me! - Mera bachaa mat banaao!
5. Yo, baby! What’s up? - Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?
6. Cool man! - Thandaa aadmi!
7. Don’t mess with me, dude. - Mere saath gandagee mat karo, ek hustee.
8. Check this out, man! - Iski chaanbeen karo, aadmi!
9. She’s so fine! - Woh itnee baareek hai!
10. Listen buddy, that chick’s mine, okay! - Suno dost, woh choozaa mera hai, theek?
11. Hey good looking; what’s cooking? - Hey Sundari; kyaa pak raha hai?
12. Are you nuts? - Kya aap akhrot hain?
13. Son of a gun. - Bachcha bandook ka.
14. General Body Meeting - Saamanya Shaaririk Milan.
And the best one is…..
15. How do you do? - Kaise karte ho?
1. Have a nice day! - Achaa din lo!
2. What’s up? - Uppar kya hai?
3. You’re kidding! - Tum bachaa bana rahe ho!
4. Don’t kid me! - Mera bachaa mat banaao!
5. Yo, baby! What’s up? - Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?
6. Cool man! - Thandaa aadmi!
7. Don’t mess with me, dude. - Mere saath gandagee mat karo, ek hustee.
8. Check this out, man! - Iski chaanbeen karo, aadmi!
9. She’s so fine! - Woh itnee baareek hai!
10. Listen buddy, that chick’s mine, okay! - Suno dost, woh choozaa mera hai, theek?
11. Hey good looking; what’s cooking? - Hey Sundari; kyaa pak raha hai?
12. Are you nuts? - Kya aap akhrot hain?
13. Son of a gun. - Bachcha bandook ka.
14. General Body Meeting - Saamanya Shaaririk Milan.
And the best one is…..
15. How do you do? - Kaise karte ho?
English Translation!
Haven’t you always wondered how “Americanisms” would sound like if they were translated literally to an average Indian on, say, the streets of New Delhi (or elsewhere).
1. Have a nice day! - Achaa din lo!
2. What’s up? - Uppar kya hai?
3. You’re kidding! - Tum bachaa bana rahe ho!
4. Don’t kid me! - Mera bachaa mat banaao!
5. Yo, baby! What’s up? - Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?
6. Cool man! - Thandaa aadmi!
7. Don’t mess with me, dude. - Mere saath gandagee mat karo, ek hustee.
8. Check this out, man! - Iski chaanbeen karo, aadmi!
9. She’s so fine! - Woh itnee baareek hai!
10. Listen buddy, that chick’s mine, okay! - Suno dost, woh choozaa mera hai, theek?
11. Hey good looking; what’s cooking? - Hey Sundari; kyaa pak raha hai?
12. Are you nuts? - Kya aap akhrot hain?
13. Son of a gun. - Bachcha bandook ka.
14. General Body Meeting - Saamanya Shaaririk Milan.
And the best one is…..
15. How do you do? - Kaise karte ho?
1. Have a nice day! - Achaa din lo!
2. What’s up? - Uppar kya hai?
3. You’re kidding! - Tum bachaa bana rahe ho!
4. Don’t kid me! - Mera bachaa mat banaao!
5. Yo, baby! What’s up? - Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?
6. Cool man! - Thandaa aadmi!
7. Don’t mess with me, dude. - Mere saath gandagee mat karo, ek hustee.
8. Check this out, man! - Iski chaanbeen karo, aadmi!
9. She’s so fine! - Woh itnee baareek hai!
10. Listen buddy, that chick’s mine, okay! - Suno dost, woh choozaa mera hai, theek?
11. Hey good looking; what’s cooking? - Hey Sundari; kyaa pak raha hai?
12. Are you nuts? - Kya aap akhrot hain?
13. Son of a gun. - Bachcha bandook ka.
14. General Body Meeting - Saamanya Shaaririk Milan.
And the best one is…..
15. How do you do? - Kaise karte ho?
An Indian Brain!
An Indian walks into a New York City bank and asks to see the loan officer.
He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to
borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of
security for such a loan, so the man hands over the keys of a new Rolls
Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything is checked
out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
An employee drives the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and
parks it there.
Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest,
which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, “We are very happy to have had your business,
and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are little
puzzled.”
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a
multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”
The Indian replied, “Where else in New York can I park my car for two
weeks just for 15 bucks?”
He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to
borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of
security for such a loan, so the man hands over the keys of a new Rolls
Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything is checked
out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
An employee drives the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and
parks it there.
Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest,
which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, “We are very happy to have had your business,
and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are little
puzzled.”
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a
multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”
The Indian replied, “Where else in New York can I park my car for two
weeks just for 15 bucks?”
Bruce Lee- Encyclopedia!
1) What was Bruce Lee’s favorite vegetable?
A) Mu Lee
2) What did Bruce Lee like to have for lunch ?
A) Tha Lee
3) What happened to the theatre once a Bruce Lee movie was over ?
A) Kha Lee
4) What was Bruce Lee’s sister-in-law’s name?
A) Saa Lee
5) Bruce Lee’s favorite breakfast
A) Id Lee
6) Bruce Lee’s favorite festival
A) Diwa Lee
7) Bruce Lee’s favorite Actress
A) Sona lee
8) Bruce Lee’s favorite Music
A) Qawa lee
9) What was Bruce Lee’s most interesting job?
A) Coo Lee
10) When did Bruce Lee die?
A) Final Lee
11) How did Bruce Lee die?
A) With a Go Lee
12) What was Bruce Lee’s favourite hillstation?
A) Kulu Mana Lee
13) When Bruce Lee teased girls, what did they call him?
A) Mawwa Lee
A) Mu Lee
2) What did Bruce Lee like to have for lunch ?
A) Tha Lee
3) What happened to the theatre once a Bruce Lee movie was over ?
A) Kha Lee
4) What was Bruce Lee’s sister-in-law’s name?
A) Saa Lee
5) Bruce Lee’s favorite breakfast
A) Id Lee
6) Bruce Lee’s favorite festival
A) Diwa Lee
7) Bruce Lee’s favorite Actress
A) Sona lee
8) Bruce Lee’s favorite Music
A) Qawa lee
9) What was Bruce Lee’s most interesting job?
A) Coo Lee
10) When did Bruce Lee die?
A) Final Lee
11) How did Bruce Lee die?
A) With a Go Lee
12) What was Bruce Lee’s favourite hillstation?
A) Kulu Mana Lee
13) When Bruce Lee teased girls, what did they call him?
A) Mawwa Lee
Just Do The Job!
This is the story about 4 people named: Everybody, Somebody,
Anybody, and Nobody.
- There was an important job to be done and Everybody was
sure Somebody would do it.
- Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
- Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody’s job.
- Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized
that Everybody wouldn’t do it.
- It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody
did what Anybody could have done.
Anybody, and Nobody.
- There was an important job to be done and Everybody was
sure Somebody would do it.
- Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
- Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody’s job.
- Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized
that Everybody wouldn’t do it.
- It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody
did what Anybody could have done.
Bruce Lee- Encyclopedia!
1) What was Bruce Lee’s favorite vegetable?
A) Mu Lee
2) What did Bruce Lee like to have for lunch ?
A) Tha Lee
3) What happened to the theatre once a Bruce Lee movie was over ?
A) Kha Lee
4) What was Bruce Lee’s sister-in-law’s name?
A) Saa Lee
5) Bruce Lee’s favorite breakfast
A) Id Lee
6) Bruce Lee’s favorite festival
A) Diwa Lee
7) Bruce Lee’s favorite Actress
A) Sona lee
8) Bruce Lee’s favorite Music
A) Qawa lee
9) What was Bruce Lee’s most interesting job?
A) Coo Lee
10) When did Bruce Lee die?
A) Final Lee
11) How did Bruce Lee die?
A) With a Go Lee
12) What was Bruce Lee’s favourite hillstation?
A) Kulu Mana Lee
13) When Bruce Lee teased girls, what did they call him?
A) Mawwa Lee
A) Mu Lee
2) What did Bruce Lee like to have for lunch ?
A) Tha Lee
3) What happened to the theatre once a Bruce Lee movie was over ?
A) Kha Lee
4) What was Bruce Lee’s sister-in-law’s name?
A) Saa Lee
5) Bruce Lee’s favorite breakfast
A) Id Lee
6) Bruce Lee’s favorite festival
A) Diwa Lee
7) Bruce Lee’s favorite Actress
A) Sona lee
8) Bruce Lee’s favorite Music
A) Qawa lee
9) What was Bruce Lee’s most interesting job?
A) Coo Lee
10) When did Bruce Lee die?
A) Final Lee
11) How did Bruce Lee die?
A) With a Go Lee
12) What was Bruce Lee’s favourite hillstation?
A) Kulu Mana Lee
13) When Bruce Lee teased girls, what did they call him?
A) Mawwa Lee
Pakistani In US!
A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a big dog. He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl’s life.
A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says “You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers “Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl”
The man says - “But I am not a New Yorker!”
“Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning “Brave American saves life of little girl’” - the policeman answers.
“But I am not an American!” - says the man.
“Oh, what are you then?”
The man says - “I am a Pakistani!”
The next day the newspapers prints headline “Islamic extremist kills American dog. Connections to terrorist networks are being investigated”
A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says “You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers “Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl”
The man says - “But I am not a New Yorker!”
“Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning “Brave American saves life of little girl’” - the policeman answers.
“But I am not an American!” - says the man.
“Oh, what are you then?”
The man says - “I am a Pakistani!”
The next day the newspapers prints headline “Islamic extremist kills American dog. Connections to terrorist networks are being investigated”
I’ve learned….
I’ve learned….
That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
I’ve learned….
That when you’re in love, it shows.
I’ve learned..
That just one person saying to me, “You’ve made my day!” makes my day.
I’ve learned….
That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful
feelings in the world.
I’ve learned….
That being kind is more important than being right.
I’ve learned….
That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
I’ve learned….
That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help
him in some other way.
I’ve learned….
That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a
friend to act goofy with.
I’ve learned….
That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to
understand.
I’ve learned….
That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I
was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
I’ve learned….
That when you’re in love, it shows.
I’ve learned..
That just one person saying to me, “You’ve made my day!” makes my day.
I’ve learned….
That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful
feelings in the world.
I’ve learned….
That being kind is more important than being right.
I’ve learned….
That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
I’ve learned….
That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help
him in some other way.
I’ve learned….
That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a
friend to act goofy with.
I’ve learned….
That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to
understand.
I’ve learned….
That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I
was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
Salary Increase Request!
Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$ t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
Norman $ oh
The next day, the employee received this letter of reply :
Dear NOrman,
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the media is reporting that the world’s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Yours truly,
General Manager
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$ t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
Norman $ oh
The next day, the employee received this letter of reply :
Dear NOrman,
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the media is reporting that the world’s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Yours truly,
General Manager
An English professor wrote the words
An English professor wrote the words: “A woman without her man is nothing”
On the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the MALES in the class wrote: “A woman, without her man, is nothing.”
While All the FEMALES in the class wrote: “A woman: without her, man is nothing.”
On the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the MALES in the class wrote: “A woman, without her man, is nothing.”
While All the FEMALES in the class wrote: “A woman: without her, man is nothing.”
Out of Office Auto Replies!
This is a list of the best “Out-of-Office” e-mail auto-replies.
*
I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.
*
I’m not really out of the office. I’m just ignoring you.
*
You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
*
Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management.
*
I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
*
The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many people did this over and over).
*
Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
*
Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
*
An I, D, I, O, T has occurred, please try later!
*
Hi. I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
*
I’ve run away to join a different circus.
*
Hi! I’m busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don’t bother to leave me any messages.
AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE.
This is a list of the best “Out-of-Office” e-mail auto-replies. If you know more, please email me.
*
I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as “Lollita” instead of “Steve”
*
I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.
*
I’m not really out of the office. I’m just ignoring you.
*
You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
*
Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management.
*
I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
*
The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many people did this over and over).
*
Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
*
Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
*
An I, D, I, O, T has occurred, please try later!
*
Hi. I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
*
I’ve run away to join a different circus.
*
Hi! I’m busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don’t bother to leave me any messages.
AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE.
This is a list of the best “Out-of-Office” e-mail auto-replies. If you know more, please email me.
*
I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as “Lollita” instead of “Steve”
Always Incomplete Without Boys
*
WOMAN has MAN in it.
*
SHE has HE in it.
*
Mrs. has Mr. in it.
*
LADY has LAD in it.
*
MISTERESS has MISTER in it.
*
MADAM has ADAM in it.
*
HOSTESS has HOST in it.
*
FEMALE has MALE in it
..and so on the list is never ending SO NO need to be proud ….Girls
YOU are always incomplete without Boys.
WOMAN has MAN in it.
*
SHE has HE in it.
*
Mrs. has Mr. in it.
*
LADY has LAD in it.
*
MISTERESS has MISTER in it.
*
MADAM has ADAM in it.
*
HOSTESS has HOST in it.
*
FEMALE has MALE in it
..and so on the list is never ending SO NO need to be proud ….Girls
YOU are always incomplete without Boys.
Desi English
Hello!!!
Principal to students… “I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigarette…?
Class teacher once said:
“pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!”
Once hindi teacher said…”I’m going out of the world to America”
“Don’t try to talk in front of my back”
Dont..laugh at the back benches…otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down…..
it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said
” why is fan not oning” (ing form of on)
teacher in a furious mood…
write down ur name and father of ur name!!
“shhh… quiet… the principal is revolving around college”
My manager started like this
“Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids”
“I’ll illustrate what i have in my mind” said the professor and erased the board
“will u hang that calender or else i’ll HANG MYSELF”
LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ,” IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE”
Chemistry HOD comes and tells us…
“My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter”
Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father
“why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!”
Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..
“I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??
Seing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..
“Keep quiet, the principal has passed away”
Principal to students… “I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigarette…?
Class teacher once said:
“pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!”
Once hindi teacher said…”I’m going out of the world to America”
“Don’t try to talk in front of my back”
Dont..laugh at the back benches…otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down…..
it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said
” why is fan not oning” (ing form of on)
teacher in a furious mood…
write down ur name and father of ur name!!
“shhh… quiet… the principal is revolving around college”
My manager started like this
“Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids”
“I’ll illustrate what i have in my mind” said the professor and erased the board
“will u hang that calender or else i’ll HANG MYSELF”
LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ,” IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE”
Chemistry HOD comes and tells us…
“My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter”
Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father
“why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!”
Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..
“I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??
Seing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..
“Keep quiet, the principal has passed away”
The average man’s
The average man’s life consists of:
20 years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
40 years of having his wife ask the same question;
and at the end, the mourners wondering too.
20 years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
40 years of having his wife ask the same question;
and at the end, the mourners wondering too.
When we are born
When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?
Philosophy of life
Philosophy of life:
At the beginning of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD,
Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!
At the beginning of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD,
Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)