Pati aur patni

Pati aur patni ghumne gaye. Raaste me ek gadhe ko ghaas kata
dekh patni ne pati se kaha - Oo G tumhara rishtedaar ghaas
kha raha hai, namaste karo.
Pati - Namaste Sasur Ji

Dur gaon

Dur gaon me jab maa baap sote nahi the,
to bacha kehta hai, so ja bapu,
so ja, warna ek aur ho jayega!!!

Autowala to Santa

Autowala to Santa : Sahab, 100 rupaye ho gaye.
Santa ne 50 rupaye autowale ko de diye.
Autowala : Sahab ye to gundagardi hai, meter ki hisab se 100 rupaye hue hai.
Santa : Tu bhi to baithkar aaya hai, tera kiraya bhi kya mujhe dena parega!!!

Son to Dad

Son to Dad : Papa, Mein itna bada kab hounga ki mein mummy se bina puche bahar ja saku?
Papa : Beta abhi itna bada to mein bhi nahi hua!!!

Banta to Doctor

Banta to Doctor : Doctor Sahab! Mein apna dimag daan karna chahta hu.
Doctor : Hoga to hum le lenge .

Pehle woh meri girlfrnd thi

Pehle woh meri girlfrnd thi,
Mein bolta tha wo sunti thi,
Phir woh meri manger bani,
Woh bolti thi mein sunta tha Jab se woh meri BIWI bani,
Hum dono bolte hain or muhalla sutna hai

BOSS

Someone

who is early

when you are late

and late

when you are early

POLITICIAN

One who

shakes your hand

before elections

and your Confidence

Later

Doctor

A person

who kills

your ills

by pills,

and kills you

by his bills!

Wo ZINDAGI hi kya jis me MOHABBAT nahi,

wo ZINDAGI hi kya jis me MOHABBAT nahi,
wo MOHABBAT hi kya jis me YAADEIN nahi,
wo YAADEIN hi kya jin me TUM nahi,
Aur wo TUM hi kya jiske saath HUM nahi.

Ek aishwarya thi,deewani si

Ek aishwarya thi,deewani si ,

shahrukh pe wo marti thi,

nazren jhukake,Sharma ke

hritik ki galiyon se guzarti thi,

chori chori salman ko

chitthiyan likha karti thi,

kuch kehna tha shayad Abhishek se

par na Jane kyon Akshay se darti thi

jab bhi milti thi Vivek se

hamesha puchha karti thi

______ (Your name) kaisa hai?

In Bio practical:

In Bio practical:

Examiner: Tell me the name of
this bird by seeing it’s legs only?
Sardar :I don’t know.
Examiner: You failed, what’s your name?
Sardar: See my legs & tell my name

Sardar Se Puchha:

Sardar Se Puchha: Tum Next Janam Me Kya Banna Pasand Karoge?
Sardar: A Cockroach
Why?
Because Meri Wife Sirf Cockroach Se Hi Darti Hai

A sardar came out of exam hall

A sardar came out of exam hall very sad. When askd why he was sad: “Oye! I didn’t know the past tense of “THINK”, I thought & thought & thought & finally wrote “THUNK”!!

Ek Sardar Delhi Se Chennai Ja Raha Tha,

Ek Sardar Delhi Se Chennai Ja Raha Tha,

Upper Birth Mein Uski Seat Thi,

Nagpur Station Par Wo Khana Lene Ke Liye Utra,

Itne Mein Train Chali Gayee Aur Mumbai Ki Train Aa Gayi,

Wo Train Par Chada Aur Lower Birth Par Baitha,

Logon Ne Pucha Sardarji Kahan Ka Irada Hai,

Sardarji: Chennai Ka,

Par Ye Train To Mumbai Ja Rahi Hai,

Sardarji: “Ye Mein Pehli Train Dekh Raha Hoon Jis Ki Upper Birth Chennai Aur Lower Birth Mumbai Ja Rahi Hai”

Police:Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phasi di jayegi.

Police:Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phasi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Police:Kion has rahe ho?
Sardar:Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hon.!

Jaagte mein bhi tujh ko sochoon

Teri yaad aaye to main kya karoon

Tujh bin qaraar na aaye to main kya karoon

Jaagte mein bhi tujh ko sochoon

Sote mein bhi tere khawaab aayein to main kya karoon

Tujhe bhoolne ki lakh karta hoon koshish

Aankhon se teri surat na jaaye to main kya karoon

Tere paas aana chahta hoon main

Zamaana dewaar ban jaaye to main kya karoon

Mere dil mein tasweer hai teri jaanti hai tu

Phir bhi tujhe yaqeen na aaye to main kya karoon